Billions Of Billious Blue Blistering Barnacles

I am surprised that the “all censoring” EYE of Ramadoss hasn’t turned its all powerful gaze towards the issue of smoking. The “real” issue (This is to distance this particular article from the bollywooddesque shenanigans of Mr. AR ).

The weirdest thing is that one is not even allowed to carry a bottle of liquor if others can see it. You need a “kaalikh” bhara plastic bag for that.(I am not sure of legality or otherwise of this particular issue.)

But there is no such restriction on Cigarettes.

Drinking in public is illegal…Although drinking does not harm others. The same cannot be said about smoking. Smoking in public is perfectly legal , albeit much more harmful. I am really shocked no one really brought up the issue of passive smoking . Specially Mr. A R

I firmly believe that Ramadoss is nothing but a publicity seeking, egoistic, power mad, stupid ,moronic Monkey, who refuses to look at real issues. I am appalled at Manmohan Singh and his govt. for allowing him to go on with his ways as long as he has.

But then what do I know. I don’t know anything about smoky details and whims of the exalted circles of the ones with the power.

PS____Thanks to Abhishek, I just found out that Smoking is indeed illegal in public. But this kinda helps my case.

The law is as effective as the one which makes Helmets compulsory in Maharashtra.

PPS_ I have seen loads of Policeman smoking in public. Sad…

A friend of mine (read Zizou) is in Amrika right now. He bought a T-Shirt with this quote on it–

If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may only have seconds to live.

He also lead me to this site called Chuck Norris Facts.<The source of the above mentioned quote> It is hilarious.

My personal favorite (and apparently Chuck Norris’ too) is this —

“They once tried to carve Chuck Norris’s face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn’t hard enough for his beard.”

I seem to have outdone myself this time.

I should have seen it coming though. There were signs. It was only yesterday that I had my first, and as it turned out, last warning. I was coming back home after a cup of coffee with a friend.

Now what one should know , is that , there is a park near my house. So you get all sorts of things around it, like an occasional madari, and an ever present Horse ride.

So just when I took a turn near my house, it was ‘aaaaaaaaaaaaa’ ,

The damn horse was almost at the corner on the right side and I almost had a head on collision with it. But , the gods were smiling, and I came through unscathed .

Fast forward to the next day i.e. yesterday. I was coming back from the bank. Now , I have a habit of listening to my i-pod during driving. (Not a good habit, I know.) So, here I was, happy in my own world, happily driving along. I turned near my house, (again) , and what was I facing? The side of the same damn fucking horse. And BANG!. I had my face in its side (thankfully it wasn’t its backside.) and my bike gone through, under it.

So, here I am. been there (Horse’s side), and done that (Given it a hickey on the side).

<Horsebite leaves a horrible aftertaste. >

I really raised my game to another level this time.

The recent success of my wishes (Man U winning, and the rain gods smiling) has prompted me to go OTT and make a list of my wishes for the rest of the year..

Here’s to hoping that the Three Witches stitch what I want–

1. One of my more immediate concerns– I get a good project (I am hoping for Calsoft/Persistent.)

2.I get a decent job during the placements.

3.I score well in CAT. (Which is all the more necessary in case Wish 2 is not fulfilled properly.)

4.Ronaldo stays at Man U .

5. If 4!=True (for non CS people.. != means – not equal to) then he is sold for at least a 100 Million.

6. Lionel Messi comes to Man U . (I can wish, can’t I)

7. Spain /Netherlands win the Euro 2008. Both of the teams play wonderful football , and don’t have much to show for it. They definitely deserve more.

8. Italy DO NOT win the Euro. (They play tooo negatively and have filth like Mattarazzi.)

9. Pavel Nedved plays for the Czechs in the Euro.

10.Mumbai Indians/Rajasthan Royals win the IPL.

11.Dark Knight proves to be as good a movie as it seems.

12.Same for Sarkar Raj and Indian(a) Jones.

13. Sreesanth is given a hefty punishment and fine. He is too obnoxious,egoistic,arrogant annoying and irritating. Needs to learn a lesson.

It is a bit surprising that there have been showers in various cities over the past few days. Mid-May doesn’t exactly qualify as monsoon; and although small showers are not that unusual, what i find weird is the location.

For the past 5-6 days it has been compulsorily raining only at IPL venues , irrespective of how far they are from each other. Bangalore, Mohali, you name it.

(with the temperature in Pune, how I wish it had rained here…)

Looks like Lord Indra isn’t a big fan of the tournament…..

Yesterday was a day of some surprising announcements.

Some that were happy, some that were sad.

——————–

1.Anika Sorenstam Retires. (Don’t like golf, not a feminist, so don’t care much)

2.Henin announces her retirement with immediate effect.

WHY?? I loved Henin. Never seen a player who was mentally stronger. The female Federer for me. She could have dominated the WTA circuit for at least 2 more years.

On a happier note—

Henrik Larsson named in the Swedish Euro 2008 squad.

For some reason I am a sucker for those romantic come back stories.

After all, who can forget Zidane in world cup 2006, almost the perfect swansong.

And anyone who saw Larsson playing in the last Euro would agree with me. With everyone speculating whether he was fit enough or not, we saw Larsson scoring a brace against Bulgaria in a 5-1 mauling and it included that astonishing flying headed goal .

I am sure he will give a good performance this time around too.

How I wish Pavel Nedved had decided to do the same for the Czech’s , the dark horses (for me , they would have been contenders if Nedved was there.)

Still, I am happy enough with Larsson’s return .

—————————————-

PS_ GREY NOMADS- It refers to tourists who are retired and are roaming around the country,

Sorry for the slightly obscene title.

This post is prompted by Arnolds tagline which read “I am doing something I don’t like and getting paid very little for it”.

I guess this is true for more or less all of us. No one really is doing something they really would have liked to.

In effect , all of us are whores. Figuratively at least . After all, we do our jobs mostly just for money’s sake.

Whatever happiness or sense of achievement is found in academic excellence is more often than not a truce with the circumstances. Everyone knows that this is their only option. Not graduating is not really going to help with the money aspect. So what we do is try to find something that we hate/dislike the least . And think of that as something we love. But most of us , if given a chance, would love to do something which people normally don’t do for a living. Like sports , arts , even writing. Lack of talent or lack of guts (and parental support) ends up in everyone going down the same path.

You graduate, job , post graduate, job. So finally the biggest reason of working and everything is Money.

I doubt if anyone disagrees with this.

So aren’t all of us whores finally ? With our families and educational institutes bearing the burden of being the PIMPS…..?

I recently started my “feline” classes at IMS.

First lecture, we have to solve a CAT paper. I was totally unprepared for it.

Still the whole thing got to a good start. I found the English section rather easy and was confident about at least 22 of the complete 25 that I had attempted.

But the other 2 sections were a nightmare. Anyone with decent amount of common sense would have realized that CAT is supposed to be tough. No one is ever expected to solve all 75. It’s not 12th CET.

But this is here,where the quizzing background acts as a hindrance.

I went in like a Juggernaut. With a swagger that wasn’t fitting for my potency at solving those questions. But there I was , a Kamikaze, if ever there was one.,circling everything that came along my way.Due to lack of negative marking in quizzes I usually go in with “None shall be passed” mentality.

I was confident about only around 18 out of 50 for maths and data sections. Still I answered 48. Cus in quizzes leaving questions unanswered is criminal.

The rest 30 were “Educated guesses” (If there is anything like that here.)

I found out that I was shooting blanks, more aimless than the US army in Iraq.

Turns out I put my foot in my own ass, chopped it with a “Kulhari” at the same time.

I plan to “think” from now on. Realizing that not everything is a Quiz elims sheet, plus, no one laughs if you think of a funny answer.

PS___ It is still a li’l better than what Salil did.

It’s his VIVA . When asked a particular question he didn’t know the answer for, his reply is “PASS”

(Me thinks Salil might have saved some face by complementing the examiner on the quality and setting of the question, or at least one “Good Question Sir”. )

This is stuff that you wouldn’t be able to think of writing even if you were inclined to do so–

This was there in todays PUNE MIRROR (Only the bestest tabloid ever )–

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ASK THE SEXPERT

I am a 20 year old man. My sex part (I don’t exactly know what it’s called) is always standing; when I wake up, at the time of urination and when I see romantic clips on TV. I don’t even tuck my shirt in because I don’t know when it stands. Please help me I feel embarrassed to speak with people.

Finally!

Some recognition for our Part Rakshas sacrificing hero from the Mahabharat.

Till now Ghatotkach had been reduced to a name that you would give to your child if you wanted him/her to hate you forever. Or if you wanted to make sure that he was made fun of in every walk of life.

Not any more. Finally , he has been given his due.

There is going to be an animated feature on Ghatotkach. Mostly by the same bunch of people who came up with the smash hit Hanuman.

However from what I have seen, Ghatotkach isnt entirely free of bad luck. As the title song for the movie seems to be extremely cheesy and hammed .

Still, as they say in hindi— “Der aaye, durust aaye.”