Billions Of Billious Blue Blistering Barnacles

Bashi Bazooks, Sea Gherkins, Nincompoops, Aztecs!!

BCQC May Open

leave a comment »

The Boat Club Quiz Club presents two open quizzes in May. Here are the details:

Date: 17th May (Sunday)
Venue: Dewang Mehta Auditorium, Persistent Systems Ltd., Senapati Bapat Road, Pune
Contact: Phone: Ramanand (97642 58560), Aditya (98811 01291) Me(9970519559), Email: contact(at)bcqc(dot)org

Upto two members per team; no prior registration needed; no entry fees

Prizes for each finalist, for the Best College Team, the Best School Team, and the Best Newbie Team.
Prizes are co-sponsored by Landmark (Pune), Blaft Publications (Chennai), and the BCQC.

Morning Quiz – The Tyson Gibran Quiz
Quizmasters : Suraj Menon, Yash Tamaskar
Timings: 9:45 am to 12:45 pm (report by 9:30 am)
Flavour: General

Afternoon Quiz – Amnesia
Quizmaster: Niranjan Pedanekar
Timings: 2:30 pm to 5:30 pm (report by 2:15 pm)
Flavour: General


Written by yasho

May 12, 2009 at 7:28 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Perv Pun of The Day I (Questionable Quality)

with one comment

Since this idea was concieved at 3 am I take no blame for the harm it causes to anyone’s intellect.

What do you call it when Clint Eastwood gets a sex change ?

A- Change”ling”

Written by yasho

February 2, 2009 at 4:21 am

Posted in Just like that

The Sperm Betrayal

with 4 comments

Today this blogger,driven by boredom and what seems like an early form of Alzheimer or Schizophrenia (since I couldn’t think of a better explanation for this pointless post) , discovers the ugly truth behind the murky world of Sperms.

It is widely believed that Sperms are the ultimate commies, working for the greater good. All but one sacrificing themselves for the ultimate goal, fertilization.

They work together to break the egg’s protective wall so that one of them can get through.

But I disagree.

I believe sperms are nothing but people running for their lives, where the first one to reach the safe spot just presses “Delete All”. They work together, spend almost all their lives together, but once a small opening is created and one of those backstabbing bastards gets through, its chaos outside. An alarm is triggered which basically kills all the other sperms. It is sad and unfortunate that the basis of life is the betrayal of a sacred brotherhood . (Or as one would say “Hoes before bros!”). And to think that we are expected to be not selfish, when the reason we are here is because one dhokhebaaz was able to give his comrades a slip and send them on the highway to hell.

*Those who know me would have probably seen the Highway To Hell line coming ….*

Written by yasho

January 16, 2009 at 5:17 am

Objects ? I think not…

with 3 comments

Objectification of women.

One of the most sensitive issues when it comes to movies today (Movies includes Porn.)

This is something I have given a LOT of thought to.

Although it might appear insensitive, I think it is not as prevalent as people think.

Porn and other movies depicting women as seductress are doing nothing but acknowledging their power over men. Yes, men think about sex. That is precisely what gives women power over them. And this is precisely what these movies show. Otherwise how can you explain people watching tripe like Original Sin. These women have the power to draw guys to watch these movies.

In a civilised society we might look down upon the power of lust, but it is one of the most basic emotions and will ALWAYS be there . (At least as long as the Ice Caps hold up..)

One of the most prominent examples was the wonderful “Ilsa” series of movies.

While that series has been called exploitation tripe, I beg to differ . It goes to the most excruciating details to show the power of the female.

One scene exemplifies it more than others.

There are two chicks, almost naked (Obviously to depict the raw nature of the scene and the naked truth about Girl Power.) fighting this ugly fat guy. They beat him to a pulp and to put the exclamation mark on the proceedings, take his balls out with their bare hands.

(I squirmed here. FACT- Guys get really really queasy and scared whenever any other guy’s “parts” are under attack. Probably it reminds them the pain of having been hit there by a ball, or getting kneed by an infuriated ex. )

This was the ultimate depiction of Woman power.

In all possible ways. Symbolic and Literal.You name it.

After this, I dare anyone to complain that women are objectified in movies, specially in masterpieces like Ilsa:The Harem Keeper of The Oil Sheikh.

(Also, hats off to Russ Meyer)

___ The whole point of the post was to draw the readers attention to this unbelievable piece of cinema______ 🙂

Written by yasho

January 9, 2009 at 6:32 pm

A Tale Of 3 Quizzes

with one comment

It was last Friday.

I should have known better. The signs were already there .

The whole thing was jinxed right from the Elims of the first quiz. This is a tale of horrors that every quizzer must have gone through at least once in his life. (If he hasn’t, he should; you appreciate good quizzes more..)


Partner in crime– Kaustubh Bhat]

Team Name– Hazaar Chaurasi(1084) Ke Baap

Elims– The elims questions were decent. In fact the best thing about the day. We screwed up some simple ones, and as a result were teetering on the edge of the holy ground. When they announced the cutoff, I was surprised to not hear our names in the qualification lot, since I was sure I had counted right , and our scores were greater..

So out came our sheets. We had Greg Rusedski given wrong cause I had spelled it Ruzedski. Who the fuck gives a question wrong because of spelling! And that too of one letter….

Finals– So  all things done, we are in the finals.

Amongst the weirdest finals I have seen. The pic round didn’t make any sense.
Connect for Meryl Streep and George Bush- Head cheerleaders.  Has to be the most WTF question ever…

Then in the identification questions- we had to identify the guy who had invented condom. Now it wasn’t as if he was wearing one at that time, that we should know who he was.

At least 4-5 more questions like that.

All in all, a forgettable experience.

Standing- 4th after a tie breaker.


Partner in Crime– Suvajit Chakraborty

Team Name– “Vanar Bros.” (Dhaaped from Meghsham)

This is the very definition of a quiz meant for Junta. And the people obliged. It had the biggest turnout amongst the 3 quizzes.

Now much cannot be commented on the questions as they are meant to be esoteric and manoramic in nature.

The only crib was the imbalance in the Rapid fire round, where the difference in difficulty level was too visible. and the same goes for the spells in the Spell Round for Harry Potter.

It was a decent quiz for us , as I realised I haven’t lost my talent in remembering  obscure Friends trivia, right down to the dialogues. We finished 3rd, though IMHO we deserved 2nd spot.

Standing– 3rd place


Partner in Crime– Suvajit Chakraborty

Team Name– Bollywood Ke Boss (Not too original, I know.)

Ah, this is something that had gotten me to MIT in the first place. Almost a guarantee of winning money, since most of the usual suspects for a bollywood quiz were missing, and me and Suvajit made  a decently strong team for Bollywood.

Elims– The elims were decent, even if a bit too straight forward. They had a couple of controversial questions there.

One was the world record holder for most songs (in 1991) . Now as most of the people I know , who know about this , would agree that it is Asha Bhosale and not Lata. But wikipedia said otherwise, and as a result , so did the quizmasters.

2nd one was a classic example of crowd bullying the quizmaster. The connect was for Bollywood movies directly released in Pakistan. Now Sohni Mahiwal was a part of this. Some bum in the crowd claimed that Naushad was the music director for all of them and hence a valid answer (which is NOT true.). So we have a situation where people who haven’t even written that answer shouting for it to be given right, just cus a MIT team was saying this.

Anyway, the elims were done. We awaited the results (the discussions with other participants revealed that we had topped the elims.)

So names are being announced. 5 teams are done. I am ready to get up, when they announce someone elses name . A shock indeed.

Obviously we started protesting. Our sheet was brought out.

Now this is the singles most stupidest piece of checking that I have ever seen.

For our answers, we had miniscule space to write. As a result I had to write some of them under the given line. So for one answer I had written Sandip Patil above the line and Syed Kirmani below it.

Now people who quiz would know about the Quizzers Ego. You sometimes end up looking condescendingly at non quizzers under some quizzing circumstances. This happened to me at this point of time, though it is justified. One stupid volunteer had the balls to tell me tha I should “Respect the judges decision”. As if there were multiple interpretations possible. He was standing right next to me, and by this time I was so frustated that it took me all the willpower I had to stop myself from punching his teeth out.

After correcting another correct answer given wrong, we were in the finals.

FINALS- Now the basic finals questions were decent (Ok, they werent good, but not too shoddy either, at least relatively they werent. )

The last round, we are leading by 10 points. The last round is Dumb Charades!!!!


There were none, but imagine if someone older had shown up. Having to go through this stupid stupid stupid round. Having to flap your arms franatically in front of a bunch of students (a slightly rowdy bunch at that.)

And I still did it. When one is in college, money scores above such petty issues as dignity..

I got NACH MAYURI (2 words which needed a lot of physical actions- not something I was inclined to do in front of a big crowd.)

So for Nach I did this finger action like they do in Bhangra (I CANT DANCE, even if my life depended on it)

NOTE- By this time I had ceased to care about whatever dignity I had left.

Thankfully Suvajit got it immidiately.

Mayuri was difficult. So I am flapping my arms behind my back like a madman to get him to birds.

Now a peacock. I had to show rains and do the stupid flapping thing again.

Again, thankfully Suvajit did not need me to do more embarrasing stuff and got the movie quickly.

We won, but a hollow victory…..

Standing– 1st

PS_ I envy Harish and Gadre for not qualifying. Lucky they were..

It was a horrible experience. One that has scarred me for life. Whatever I do, I can’t think of anything good to say about the whole thing. (Apart from the fact that some cash was won.)

Written by yasho

September 24, 2008 at 4:11 am

Posted in Quizzing, Reality Bites

The Kkouple-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

with one comment

This was the night before my Information Security exam. Which not-so-koincidentally was a nightmare in itself. But I have a justification for the screw-up.

I was trying to decipher(YES-it is a sad attempt at humour) what Stalling was trying to say in his explaination of AES cipher, when I couldn’t continue and fell asleep.


The Kombining of the two of the most deadliest Kkreatures known to mankind.

(The unstoppable force and the immovable object …)

(K)Ekta Kapoor and ( till now thought of as oh-so-Gay ) Karan Johar.

You kan’t imagine my horror at seeing this disaster happening in front of me. (It was a very realistic dream)

I woke up drenched in sweat. I have been scared ever since. The horrors that the “”Balaji Dharm”” kan unleash are beyond my imagination and comprehension.

I kouldn’t write my paper properly. I kouldn’t see past the K’s in the paper. And to top it all, for one proof, I had to encrypt the letter K.

It’s a sign. The Wheels have been put in motion.

The union has kosmic support. The “Grahas” are in position. It is destiny . It is Kkkkkarma (With some Dharma of kourse..)


[ Wonder what the kouple will be called (Yes I am thinking of Brangelina and Abhi-ash, though such things seem trivial in face of complete anhilation .) ]

(Probably this marriage should be called (A)Kismet Konnection..would guarantee faliure)

Written by yasho

September 9, 2008 at 5:27 pm


leave a comment »

As Nishikant Kamat’s flawed yet wonderful “Mumbai Meri Jaan” closed with Mohammad Rafi’s charming and unforgettable ode to the city, “Yeh Hai Bombay Meri Jaan” , I couldn’t help but wonder…

Would Raj Thackeray ask for “Bombay” to be digitally altered to “Mumbai” in the song?

Written by yasho

August 31, 2008 at 6:51 pm

Posted in Uncategorized