Billions Of Billious Blue Blistering Barnacles

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Archive for February 2008


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He was so sexist, that he turned gay………


Written by yasho

February 20, 2008 at 5:47 am

The Chronicles Of The Stupid Kind-II: The Curious Incidence Of The Dog At The Night Time

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Well…continuing the tradition of warning my fellow Nincompoops of mistakes that might have disastrous consequences….

I had a dog(Hence the name of the blog).. A female pomerian(I know that by now many dog lovers would hav started shaking their heads).
To make it more clear, according to most people Pomerians are possibly the most irritating breed of dogs.. and female pomerians are worst still..
They just bark, bark and bark. then they get tired, eat , rest and start barking again.
We had just bought her. As you all know I was probably the most adventurous and curious kid since Calvin, I used to implement things learnt from reliable sources like Mithun movies into real life(With some not so happy endings).
So it was one fine day(my birthday) that I decided to test the famous “Battissi” phrase.
I forced open my dogs mouth and started counting(to check wether it actually had 32 ). Now Not many people know this but a dogs mouth isnt exactly the most illuminated place on earth(or good smelling)..
So I couldnt see all of her being the genius(again read as INSANELY DUMB) that I am I started counting by touching the inner ones…
I overlooked a important fact…Dogs are living things!!
It started choking as i reached the inner teeth..
And then the Bitch(it was a female dog) closed its mouth.
A dog which had never bitten anyone in its lifetime bit its master..
Alas…I guess this is irony
(I hope PETA guys dont come after me for this…)

Written by yasho

February 18, 2008 at 8:36 am

The Chronicles Of The Stupid Kind-I

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This not a blogpost per se ……more of a lesson to all the curious people out there who wish to unravel the mysteries of nature………
This was back in the year of 1991…it was a nice morning….sun was shining …birds were chirping ……..dogs were fighting… know the routine…
I was roaming around near the frontyard and it was at that moment that curiousity struck…….
Now one has to understand that human mind(specially one belonging to a 5yr old kid) is one of the weirdest things in the world….It can arrive at the stupidest of conclusions and make them look perfectly logical and intelligent…..
Something similar happened to me…..
I was a curious little child..
I saw a buffalo outside…quitely going about its buisness…
eating grass..

I couldnt take my eyes off it………
I noticed that it was black(great observation..I know)
Then my eyes fell on a piece of coal lying besides me……
and then I had a bulb moment(You know like the ones in cartoons where a bulb lights above your head)…
So I …Yash the fearless(read as “insanely dumb”) went ahead and tried to feed the buffalo that piece[(I thought the buffalo was black because it ate coal…Parents work for Coal India Ltd. , so there was a lot of coal lying around)]………with disastrous result……….
Stupid thing stepped on my fingers and shattered them to pieces……….
all the trouble just because I tried to feed it………..

Anyway…I learned a very important lesson that day…….
which i want to pass on to my friends……

PS—I have posted this before on an old blog…But I seriously doubt that anyone ever read it…

Written by yasho

February 18, 2008 at 8:36 am

The Lame Chronicles

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I am a very accident prone person. I am perfectly capable of tripping over an ant. (A wannabe Inspector Clouseau ) …

Around 20 days back I tore my ankle ligaments while playing football and since then I have been wearing a cast.

Initially I was very irritated at the whole thing. Not being able to play for the college team, having to use crutches, not being able to drive etc. etc. Not to mention the slightly chronic effects of the injury.

But after the injury my fortunes have changed completely.

I have won 3 quizzes out of 5 that I participated in. Got my name in the papers.<If you can call DNA that..> (Who said that quizzes don’t pay 🙂 ) . I don’t have to attend college. People are much nicer( Specially girls. )

Being a very superstitious person now I am in two minds about weather I should let the cast stay on for a li’l bit longer…..

Written by yasho

February 18, 2008 at 8:29 am

Posted in Just like that

The Darjeeling Limited

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I have a habit of going through IMDB when I have nothing to do..

A few weeks back I came across a movie called “Darjeeling Limited” while surfing.

It is a movie about 3 Brothers trying to bond and “find” themselves featuring Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody and Jason Schwartzman.

Irrespective of what people think about him, I have liked Owen Wilson for a while . Someone who has the potential to do serious roles but is stuck due to poor casting.

Although no one has really heard of the movie, I was really looking forward to it. I have lost all faith in the our Multiplex structure. Oscar nominated movies like NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, JUNO, THERE WILL BE BLOOD haven’t released here, but we get tripe like Rambo 4 in the theatres the first day it releases.

Darjeeling Limited turned out to be a wonderful movie. Wonderful acting by everyone , with nice little cameos by Irrfan Khan and Angelica Houston.

The music was wonderful. The kind you would  find in an Indie British movie. Soothing to the ears, a throwback to the likes of the Beatles…….

I have always been amazed how Non Indians are better able to capture the spirit and beauty of out country than us……Ruskin Bond being an example. (Yes, He was born and brought up in India…yet he had a slight handicap in terms of cultural differences.)

The cinematography of the movie is just wonderful . One of the most beautiful movies I have seen in a long time.

All in all a thoroughly enjoyable “Travel” movie.

Best watched on a lazy afternoon.

Written by yasho

February 18, 2008 at 8:21 am

Posted in Movies and Me


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Its funny how a thing becomes a habit…

I am so used to using the Ctrl+F on my Firefox window, that now, I have started thinking about doing that when reading a book or paper…

Obviously, later to realize that Alas!!…There is no such function available..

Written by yasho

February 6, 2008 at 2:51 pm

Posted in Just like that