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Archive for the ‘Just like that’ Category

Perv Pun of The Day I (Questionable Quality)

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Since this idea was concieved at 3 am I take no blame for the harm it causes to anyone’s intellect.

What do you call it when Clint Eastwood gets a sex change ?

A- Change”ling”

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Written by yasho

February 2, 2009 at 4:21 am

Posted in Just like that

The Whole Shebang-A Conspiracy Theory

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With everyone saying how shameful, the whole thing has been and that both Bhajji and the Malyalee Monkey are responsible for it (One of them more than the other.)and that both have come out for the worse (as analysed By Ramanand).

Physical violence has no place in cricket, and that Harbhajan should face the music.

But because of the carefully developed and ridiculously weird thinking pattern that I have , I disagree.

So this is my way of supporting the likes of India TV and other channels (Nothing compares to India TV though) and there a la’ juggernaut ,search for sensational news (found or made, doesnt make much difference) I am writing the following part–

A CONSPIRACY THEORY

I think the whole thing is an orchestrated event. As everyone had seen, after the initial matches , the ratings and the attendance had been falling, because the novelty factor was gone.

So what does Mr.Modi decide to do.

A controversy. Nothing grabs you by the balls as hard as a juicy controversy.

So he asks Bhajji to step up for the collective good and be the “Bali Ka Bakra”. Me thinks Bhajji is being compensated well for doing this and facing the ban. As for Sreesanth, this might have been a pathetic attempt at rebuilding his image. Going from a smoke sprouting (I dont think there ever was any fire to back it) ,dancing , boastful monkey to a 4 year old who is crying cause he got slapped.

There are so many signs that this is an acted event.

Why would Bhajji go and slap Sreesanth? Too unprofessional for anyone.

Why didn’t our fireband retaliate. Any normal person on being hit retaliates.

Why is everything being done behind the doors?

Why did the “K-League” dialogue of “Bade Bhayya” came into the play?

Why are there claims of Punching AND slapping now?

The most reasonable explanation is that Modi wants to make it a masala blockbuster, with something for everyone.

The fans have their cricket.

The ladies have their soap style drama and sentiments.

The non-cricket fans get to see a fusion of cricket and “muay thai” (Thai Kick Boxing).

A diabolical plan indeed Mr.Modi, Bravo.

PS_ My suspicions will be confirmed if they start advertising their matches as “Rumble In The Jungle” etc. etc. .

Written by yasho

April 28, 2008 at 3:44 am

The Worstest Joke Ever

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This has to be the worst joke anyone has ever msged/told me.

—————-

What do you call a girl who has dated men before you?

Predated.

What do you call yourself?

Predator

—————

I challange anyone to come up with a joke to compete with this, in the race towards the deepest pits of the Mines of Moria.

Or should I say Mount Doom? (It will remove the possibility of this joke ever being resurrected. I am pretty sure Mount Doom was the source though.)

Written by yasho

April 25, 2008 at 5:41 pm

Note To Self : Food For Thought

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Never ever go to a place for dinner, which is not full to the capacity on a Sunday night.

Be smart and follow the mob.

Written by yasho

April 21, 2008 at 12:36 pm

Hitting the Spot(G-wala)

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Is it just me , or does anyone else thinks too that the VODAFONE guy and gal(the animated ones) at the bottom of the screen during the IPL matches make the Meg Ryan in “Harry Met Sally” noises before climbing up a wall???

Written by yasho

April 19, 2008 at 7:34 pm

Changing My Religion–(Not LOSING, Changing)

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I have never been a very religious person. But now I have seen the error of my ways. I have seen the light (And the Halogen Lamp emitting it.) .

I am converting. From an occasional Hindu, to a devout Pastafarian.

ALL HAIL THE “FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER” ….Now here is a God that you can eat.

PS__New discoveries

There are a few worries–

As per the directives of the Pastafarian wing (The kitchen part) of The Western Branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism (A branch of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) I have to be “touched by his noodly appendages”.

Disclaimer–The Reform Presbylutheranism is wrongly quoted in THE SIMPSONS to be a protestant church. It is just the set up used by our beloved Rev.Lovejoy to get money from the govt.(If any money is left after the wars and the donations to Synagogs)

At first I thought it would symbolic.

However I didn’t know that this “initiation” was a very literal process. After seeing the initiation pics of a young and “rompant” Max Mosely , I have become very very suspicious of this religion and will wait & see for a while before going ahead with my conversion.

As mentioned above, a \

Here, we have a “touching” painting of the The Saintly Mr.Mosely discovering new moves not mentioned in the kinkiest sex book one could find (including Kamasutra).

This inspired the cult classic “The Noodle and The Cock”.

But I have to say ; this procedure opened up a whole new genre of Porn to me. Never knew that “Shagadilic Spaghedeity” , Divine Dicks” and “Religious Romps” were TWBOARP (The name of the church mentioned above) sponsored movies, shot against the ceiling. (These stunts were enabled by the slimy hold of the great “Spaghetti Monster”).

PPS_ I just found out that our Shagadilic Spaghedeity has taken to beastiality. He was recently found ca”noodling” away to glory with the Invisible Pink Unicorn.

Written by yasho

April 15, 2008 at 3:40 am

Fair & Lovely

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I had been thinking about writing on this topic for a long time . But I decided to wait in light of some recent events involving Hindi Expletives being mistaken for with an unfortunate (and due to the comparision, irate) armpit scratching , butt sniffing, fruit eating primate!

HERE GOES NOTHING —–I believe that Indian Society is one of the most racist societies in the world . And most of us are nothing but a bunch of hypocrites.

For one to identify with this view, one has to understand my definition of “Racism”.

Racism for me is a micro-entity. As in, it doesn;t have to cover huge areas. A race is not defined by the area it covers, but by the differences they have with others. India is a mixture of huge number of races. Racism is also colour based discrimination. Now although in normal jobs colour has no relevance , our society is still bound in the shackles of “Fair & Lovely” . For us anyone who is fair is good looking and with a few exceptions anyone dark is ugly,,or at least not good looking.

All these insensitive ads on TV, like the one showing a guy to be mistaken for a valet when dark and a hero when fair. This is ridiculous and really insensitive, and more importantly it stresses on the point that color is all that matters. Pushing kids (hell even adults aren’t free from this) towards hollow superficial outlook towards beauty. The number of “Fairness” (ironically I couldnt think of anything more unfair) products in the market proves that we are, deep down, nothing but racists ourselves.

Then isn’t it hypocritical of us to complain of racism outside, on cricket grounds, in houses full of mindless has-beens and nobodies trying to resurrect their careers with cheap publicity stunts.

What gives us the divine right of saying this is right, while that is wrong?

Written by yasho

April 9, 2008 at 2:29 am