Objects ? I think not…

Objectification of women.

One of the most sensitive issues when it comes to movies today (Movies includes Porn.)

This is something I have given a LOT of thought to.

Although it might appear insensitive, I think it is not as prevalent as people think.

Porn and other movies depicting women as seductress are doing nothing but acknowledging their power over men. Yes, men think about sex. That is precisely what gives women power over them. And this is precisely what these movies show. Otherwise how can you explain people watching tripe like Original Sin. These women have the power to draw guys to watch these movies.

In a civilised society we might look down upon the power of lust, but it is one of the most basic emotions and will ALWAYS be there . (At least as long as the Ice Caps hold up..)

One of the most prominent examples was the wonderful “Ilsa” series of movies.

While that series has been called exploitation tripe, I beg to differ . It goes to the most excruciating details to show the power of the female.

One scene exemplifies it more than others.

There are two chicks, almost naked (Obviously to depict the raw nature of the scene and the naked truth about Girl Power.) fighting this ugly fat guy. They beat him to a pulp and to put the exclamation mark on the proceedings, take his balls out with their bare hands.

(I squirmed here. FACT- Guys get really really queasy and scared whenever any other guy’s “parts” are under attack. Probably it reminds them the pain of having been hit there by a ball, or getting kneed by an infuriated ex. )

This was the ultimate depiction of Woman power.

In all possible ways. Symbolic and Literal.You name it.

After this, I dare anyone to complain that women are objectified in movies, specially in masterpieces like Ilsa:The Harem Keeper of The Oil Sheikh.

(Also, hats off to Russ Meyer)

___ The whole point of the post was to draw the readers attention to this unbelievable piece of cinema______ 🙂

The Kkouple-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

This was the night before my Information Security exam. Which not-so-koincidentally was a nightmare in itself. But I have a justification for the screw-up.

I was trying to decipher(YES-it is a sad attempt at humour) what Stalling was trying to say in his explaination of AES cipher, when I couldn’t continue and fell asleep.

THE NIGHTMARE-

The Kombining of the two of the most deadliest Kkreatures known to mankind.

(The unstoppable force and the immovable object …)

(K)Ekta Kapoor and ( till now thought of as oh-so-Gay ) Karan Johar.

You kan’t imagine my horror at seeing this disaster happening in front of me. (It was a very realistic dream)

I woke up drenched in sweat. I have been scared ever since. The horrors that the “”Balaji Dharm”” kan unleash are beyond my imagination and comprehension.

I kouldn’t write my paper properly. I kouldn’t see past the K’s in the paper. And to top it all, for one proof, I had to encrypt the letter K.

It’s a sign. The Wheels have been put in motion.

The union has kosmic support. The “Grahas” are in position. It is destiny . It is Kkkkkarma (With some Dharma of kourse..)

BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID……..

[ Wonder what the kouple will be called (Yes I am thinking of Brangelina and Abhi-ash, though such things seem trivial in face of complete anhilation .) ]

(Probably this marriage should be called (A)Kismet Konnection..would guarantee faliure)

Delayed Recognition, Thy Name is Ghatotkach

Finally!

Some recognition for our Part Rakshas sacrificing hero from the Mahabharat.

Till now Ghatotkach had been reduced to a name that you would give to your child if you wanted him/her to hate you forever. Or if you wanted to make sure that he was made fun of in every walk of life.

Not any more. Finally , he has been given his due.

There is going to be an animated feature on Ghatotkach. Mostly by the same bunch of people who came up with the smash hit Hanuman.

However from what I have seen, Ghatotkach isnt entirely free of bad luck. As the title song for the movie seems to be extremely cheesy and hammed .

Still, as they say in hindi— “Der aaye, durust aaye.”

Move Over “Jaani Dushman” – Bharat is here with Kalyug Aur Ramayan

For a long time I had believed that “Jaani Dushman”(the new one) was the most hopelessly , stupidly , ridiculous movie ever (albeit entertaining) .

But then our own Bharat (A sad Manoj Kumar secretly trying to wipe his nose by covering his face.) came up with the masterpiece KALYUG AUR RAMAYAN. Here is the synopsis. It does not do justice to the over the top dancing. The brilliant moments(IMO) are noted after the synopsis–

Bhagwan Shri Ram would like his param-bhakt (Chief Devotee) Shri Hanuman to tour Kalyugic (Dark-aged) Hindustan, and himself witness the regression that has taken over this once peaceful, orderly, and religious country. Upon arrival in his present heavenly form, Shri Hanuman is mistaken by Police Inspector Thakur Hanuman Singh, to be a spy from a foreign country, and he gets on the run until Shri Ram changes his appearance to a wealthy man named Pavan Kumar, thus making him elude the police. Pavan meets with a man named Dashrath, who has two sons Raman and Dhaman. While Raman is married to Sarita, Dhaman is currently wooing Nirmala, and Dashrath’s wife is the fashionable Kamla, who looks more like Dashrath’s daughter. Things are not well in this family, as Kamla would like her ailing mother-in-law to turn over the family jewels, deities, and diamonds in her care – in vain though. So she maliciously gets Dashrath to sign over his entire estate in her name – leaving him penniless. Pavan attempts to set things right for this family, but greed, avarice, and lust have already overcome them to such an extent that he must use his heavenly powers to control them. Shri Ram, who feels that Pavan should not have used his powers to change the course of events, has his powers taken away, leaving him a mere mortal at the mercy of Kamla, Sarita, Raman, Dhaman, and a notorious smuggler Bhairo Singh – who is none other than the reincarnation of Lord Ravan himself.

THE MOMENTS__

1. The now patented Manoj Kumar secret nose wipe.

2.Manoj Kumar dancing with a belle, shaking his belly and singing “Bolo ram Chandra Ki Jai’ while the lovely lass tries to seduce..Although Manjor Kumar looked so old I doubt he could even see her..

3.Bindu failing to realize that she is old .. Guess that is enuf.

4.A hammed out Satish Shah(Inspector Thakur Hanuman Singh ) blaming Manoj Kumar (aka the actual Hanuman) for being blasphemous.

5.Manjo Kumar’s cliche’d lecture about the way societ is losing its way and stuff. (You want to kill yourself 15 seconds into it.)

I have never been a Manoj Kumar fan…cause I think he can’t act. As simple as that. I appreciate his efforts involving Patriotic movies, but even they were to hammed and badly implemented.

This movie changed my views though. Manoj Kumar is the most talented Comic ever. This movie was the visual meaning of “So bad that its good.” . if you ever have a chance to watch this movie, don’t miss it. Get your popcorn and cola and hold on to your seat , cus you are in for a mytho-magical ride ..

PS_ “GUNDA” has not been compared to “Jaani Dushman” and “Kalyug aur Ramayan” because I personally don’t think that Gunda was bad. It is poetry in motion. (Just listen to the dialogues and you will know what I mean.)

PPS_ I just found out that the “story” is by a shadily named Dr. Dawood Kashmiri.

The Darjeeling Limited

I have a habit of going through IMDB when I have nothing to do..

A few weeks back I came across a movie called “Darjeeling Limited” while surfing.

It is a movie about 3 Brothers trying to bond and “find” themselves featuring Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody and Jason Schwartzman.

Irrespective of what people think about him, I have liked Owen Wilson for a while . Someone who has the potential to do serious roles but is stuck due to poor casting.

Although no one has really heard of the movie, I was really looking forward to it. I have lost all faith in the our Multiplex structure. Oscar nominated movies like NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, JUNO, THERE WILL BE BLOOD haven’t released here, but we get tripe like Rambo 4 in the theatres the first day it releases.

Darjeeling Limited turned out to be a wonderful movie. Wonderful acting by everyone , with nice little cameos by Irrfan Khan and Angelica Houston.

The music was wonderful. The kind you would  find in an Indie British movie. Soothing to the ears, a throwback to the likes of the Beatles…….

I have always been amazed how Non Indians are better able to capture the spirit and beauty of out country than us……Ruskin Bond being an example. (Yes, He was born and brought up in India…yet he had a slight handicap in terms of cultural differences.)

The cinematography of the movie is just wonderful . One of the most beautiful movies I have seen in a long time.

All in all a thoroughly enjoyable “Travel” movie.

Best watched on a lazy afternoon.

Random Thoughts Of A Demented Mind!

DISCLAIMER- According to me , girls might find this post to be “not so nice” , so anyone who thinks of herself as “atee sabhya” please don’t read beyond this point.

My masterpiece. My life’s achievement. My everest.(Even my smallpox makes sense…just didn’t sound right.)

That day in college was like any other day. I had no clue about how special it was going to get. Me and a friend of mine X aka the monkey(in case he wishes to remain unnamed…) were getting bored, so we decided to channel our creativity into making a special list. We made up parody names for all the top Imdb movies we could think of . Here it is……(My apologies to the filmmakers.)

Schindler’s Fist(An actual movie!!)

Good Phallus

Dr.Strangelove or How I stopped worrying and fucked the blonde.

Dr.Do-Me-A-Little

Citizen’s Cane

American Booty

The Third Man(No need to change here 😀 )

Shaving Ryan’s Privates(Again a real movie!!)

Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless behind.

Das Booty

Catch Mine If You Can

Raging Bull(Again no need to change.)

Forest Hump

And now for the finale’, quoting Friends…..

Buffay The Vampire Layer

UPDATES- (Prompted and Inspired by “the monkey”)

The Parted

Good Will Humping

Josie’s Pussy and The Cats

Ben’s Whore

Tom’s Dick and Harry

Doing John Malkovich

Ed’s Wood

and the list goes on and on and on….

anyone interested in more can mail me. 🙂

Manorama Six Feet Under- Head and Shoulders above everyone….

This review was long due………

I am not sure how many of you have even heard about this movie.

I had heard a lot about the movie from my friends.Was really eager to go. But then this movie suffered the same fate that the likes of “Jane Bhi Do Yaron” have suffered over the years. Public apathy. Because of lack of publicity and “stars” the movie hasn’t made that big a impact. The show at CP Kothrud got canceled wednesday night because of lack of ticket sales.

Even the plans for Thursday were very shaky. My companion to the movie , Nagraj, wasn’t sure weather he will be able to come or not. I was afraid that this Friday would be the last day of the movie. My hopes of seeing it in a theatre were fading fast.

Then gods of fate smiled. His class got over early that day. I had company for the movie(I have a problem going to a movie alone. Have done that only once. It was for a sidey porn flick named “Buffay The Vampire Layer”….)

Anyway….We bought our tickets and went inside. There was hardly anyone around so buying a cheap ticket turned out to be a wise choice.

We missed the trailers (I am jinxed in this department..). I was a wee bit apprehensive about the movie at first. But it got hold of me immediately. It is a very well paced movie with a gripping story line. Plus it had two of the most under-rated actresses in the industry today. Raima Sen(Not her semi naked sister) and Gul Panag. The casting of the movie was spot on. Kulbhushan Kharbanda gives a nice performance in the role of a corrupt politician. The part I loved the most in the movie was that it relied more on storytelling and not on fancy locations or anything.

The only change I would have made to the movie was casting someone like Shiney Ahuja in place of Abhay Deol(Who did a commendable job..but something was lacking.)

One more thing that struck me was the cinematography and the shooting locales. It was just beautiful. The movie was shot in Rajasthan and the Director managed to capture the beauty of the state brilliantly. But all of this was a part of the story and not a diversion(a la’ Yash Raj…) . It was hard to believe that this was a debutant director.

This movie is inspired by the Jack Nicholson starrer “Chinatown” which is a classic for Film Noir’. The director very cleverly pays homage to the movie in Manorama. Abhay Deol can be seen watching the movie on TV. The fact that I am a Noir fan kinda made this movie all the more lovable for me. But even those who don’t like this genre can appreciate this masterpiece.

After the movie was over I came out completely satisfied. I won’t say much about the movie in case I end up giving away too much information. My only advice is “go for it”… You will be able to find a CD easily.

PS_ Its not one of those sleazy movies that release nowadays ….so you can see it with your parents/kids if you want 🙂

It Was Easily The Best Movie I have Seen This Year

Critical…

Quoting Peter O’Toole (Anton Ego) from “Ratatouille”–

In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new.

Makes one think….

Excellent!!

Yesterday I had a stay over at a friend’s place. We watched the most excellent movie “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventures”.

It is one of those movies that is just entertainment. No hidden message, no deeper meaning, no convoluted plot, no twists and turns, no exploring the human psyche.. Just clean entertainment…Pure bliss.

I never really understood why a movie is rated not just for its entertainment quotient? Why do we end up looking for a deeper meaning? Why are purely entertainment flicks put off as being for the “naive”….?

Isn’t entertainment, the first and foremost purpose of a movie ?

PS- Anyone who hasn’t seen the movie, do it ASAP. If you want a copy , I have it….

PARTY ON DUDES!

Groundhog Day

Groundhog Day was a brilliant Bill Murray movie where he has to live the same day over and over again. In the movie he hates it because he has to suffer certain things daily.

However aren’t there some days which you wish you could just go on living again and again….Something special that you can’t have enough of..?

I know it takes away the novelty factor out of life..But aren’t some memories so important and cherished that you never want to stop living them ??